KRISTELLYS

I have had my hair figured out for a few years now. Wash it, put on the olive oil creme, and that seemed to do the trick. Beautiful curls.

However, it’s only been pretty recently that I have made a huge step into really solving the puzzle of curly hair. There’s a whole method to the madness of curly hair. And once you get the hang of it, it’s really quite simple and easy. 

Way easier than straightening it every morning and hope for no humidity or rain, lest your whole day is ruined by a frizzy, wavy, straight mess. 

I don’t think the issue of embracing my curls is a vanity thing. For far too long I’ve stayed away from developing some sort of hair maintenance routine for fear of becoming one of those “high maintenance girls”. I didn’t want to become vain or too into my looks. So sometimes, my hair cooperated with me. Beautiful curls developed from whatever it is that I did that morning. The next day, trying to replicate it, and failing. Really making the my whole “I love my hair” mood from the previous day go away literally from one day to the other. 

To me, knowing, embracing, and loving my curly hair is very much an issue of empowerment. In a world that tells me “sleek”, “smooth”, “silky”, “tamed”, “not frizzy” hair is beautiful. My untamed, random, with just a bit of frizz, natural hair probably won’t get me a deal with Pantene. But it will free me from the hassle of straightening it, damaging it, and having it smell like burnt something, and doing the same routine every day.

Walking into a room full of straight haired people, whether natural or unnatural, makes me seem like I don’t care for my hair. Because “caring for your hair” these days looks a lot like putting chemicals/products on it, making it seem tamed and controlled. Whether one has straight, wavy or curly. 

It’s only been recently that I’ve stopped caring to tame my curls. Make them look less “big”, less “poof” than they really are. Poofy hair usually means you have unfinished business in front of the mirror. It’s gotta not be poofy. Tame that mane!! 

And it seems every curly haired girl goes through the same process of hating your hair when you’re young, just pulling it back as a result, and someone as we grow up we start embracing our curls as we find out through trial and error what works. There are still some who get stuck in the “smooth is beautiful” paradigm. Now everyone has freedom of choice in this matter. But I do make an effort to make it known that I love my curly hair. And that young girls (or boys) shouldn’t go through the stage of hating their hair. Because curly hair is gorgeous! We don’t have to work to try to look like the picture of perfection in those Pantene commercials. Our curls ARE perfection. 

To me, it’s about not being forced to straighten/damage your hair because you are so angry with your curls and you want to have “pretty hair”. It’s about loving who you are and knowing that society does not define “pretty hair”. It’s about being empowered through letting go and letting loose! To not be afraid to shake your head because it “might frizz up”. Shake that head. Make your curls big and gorgeous! Embrace yourself!

So again, it’s not vanity or superficiality. It’s about an inner change being expressed on your outer self. But if you still choose to wear it straight, that’s your own prerogative. The one thing we should not do is be forced into looking “sleek” “smooth” and “sexy” as it is conventionally defined. 

So one day, if my future daughter or son gets to have curly hair, they won’t see me in the bathroom trying to make it uncurly. They’ll see that their curls are beautiful and amazing and makes them even unique! I hope they won’t have to go through the “hating your hair” stage I, and so many other curlies, have gone through.

Living in the UK, for me, means that you eat for calories (and of course enjoyment). And it means that I’ll burn perhaps half my meal off, not by choice by virtue of a desire to walk or by necessity by virtue of eating bad, unhealthy foods, but it’s just what I end up doing.

Because here, I walk everywhere. Unless the weather conditions are absolutely horrid or if it’s 1.5+ miles away (maybe), I walk.

But I like it. I hope I get to live in a walkable area when I move back. We need more walkable cities, towns, neighborhoods.

Right now, it’s my lifestyle because it’s how things are where I live particularly. I hope to keep it up wherever I live though. Keep active.

My friend has forwarded me email alerts from UCF when there have been armed robbery situations or attacks (with a gun) around the campus. Just this year, there have been a few.

I told her to be careful, park your car as close as she can to the class and leave right after class to go home (she goes to campus at night for her classes).

There is a fear now. Especially with the increase of shootings and the most recent school shooting in Newtown, CT. There was a shooting in a college in Texas recently.

Do I have to live in fear because guns aren’t being controlled properly and gun rights advocates (with whom I’m willing to compromise with, trust me, I’m willing to give up some of what I believe so we can come to some sort of sensible consensus) don’t want to do anything about guns?

If I live with this fear, am I forced to carry around a gun to feel safe even if it violates my beliefs about violence/non-violence/guns? What if I don’t ever want to own a gun? I feel I am forced to live in fear when walking into a mall, on a campus, or one day dropping off my kids at school.

Is the only option for gun rights advocates more guns for everyone? We really can’t be adults, critically thinking human beings?

Why am I forced to live in fear because of gun rights advocates to own their guns? I don’t want to take them away. But we must understand there are some that live with this fear and gun rights advocates have to take that into consideration when forming their conclusions. I’m willing to work with them and compromise. But if the only conclusion they come up with is: more guns. don’t take anything away and don’t change anything…. in light of all the emails that my friend have forwarded… what do I do?